Nothing To Lose

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Thu, 19 Apr 2012 20:45:40 -0400

Mad World || Breve

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 20:27:19 -0400

Brendan had missed all of his classes which didn’t involve his new obsession. There was something about the sweet broken girl that had captivated him, and caused both his blood-lust and curiosity to be piqued. He wanted to learn more about those scars, her strange habits, and the sounds he could harvest from her once he started in with the torturing. The very thought of such things sent a shiver through his body and set the edge of his lips into a wicked smile.
He’d followed her around campus at a safe distance, learning her routine, wanting to become intimate with every last detail of her life more than even she was. And when Eve left to return home, you can bet that Bren was all too quick to trail along after her. The signs of something building up within the girl were clear enough to the psychopath which had been intently watching every perceptible form of body language she produced. Evelyn was such a socially awkward human, which only served to make him want to learn the reason behind this fascinating anomaly of character.

When she entered the building, he would hang back; give her some time to make it up to her apartment before Brendan set his plan into motion. Since they’d first met in class he’d been determined to work himself into the fabric of her life, until he single handedly ripped it apart at the seams. Already Evelyn had seemed to accept him as a friend, allowing him access to her apartment on more than one occasion for a ‘study’ date, which most of the time meant them eating some kind of food and watching cult horror movies. Today however when she offered up a movie selection for their next study session, Bren had politely declined her offer with some excuse about having to switch out his shift at the morgue with someone. He couldn’t very well make this too easy now could he?

Planning on showing up at her door with a fake smile and some phony story about how they really didn’t need him after all, all that would change when he stepped out of the elevator onto their shared floor. It couldn’t have been a couple minutes before he’d came in after her and waited for the lift to reach the lobby. He instantly felt that something wasn’t quite right when he found the small brass number in the middle of the hall in front of her door, which happened to be ajar.

Tilting his head, Brendan wouldn’t bother knocking as he pushed the door open far enough for him to gain entry. A normal person might have called out to see if anyone would answer. The predator in him wanted her to be unaware of his presence, just like she’d been throughout the day. It was just another way of controlling reality, allowing her to see what he wanted in order to give the impression correct he wished to convey. Passing through the living area, Bren saw the aftermath of the broken vase, only adding to that feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach. It was a feeling he wasn’t used to experiencing. His emotions were very limited, so it was always a shock to his system when he actually felt something besides emptiness.

However, he would be the one to be surprised once he came upon the scene in the bathroom. Panic set in; this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen, it was his privilege to release her from this mortal coil as he saw fit. Brendan wouldn’t allow her to take that pleasure away from him. “Evelyn…” her name was hissed from his lips, teeth clinched tightly in anger. Instantly he fell upon the bathtub and plunged his arms - jacket and all into the tainted water. Growling as he felt the heat penetrate the layers of his clothing, he’d grunt with the strain of lifting her frame out of the tub, gently placing her on the floor in front of it. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he didn’t expect a response, but it was hard for him to hold in his selfish reaction.

The sight of blood triggered something in his mind as the color of it spread across the tiled floor, causing him to freeze in place for a moment. A rolling shiver traversed his body and set his teeth on edge before he could shake it away. Quickly he started working to stop the flow of the precious liquid, yanking off his belt to use as a tourniquet for one of her arms. Eve had done one hell of a number, which was going to make saving her live a lot fucking harder. Tugging a few towels off the rack nearby, Bren wrapped one around the arm he’d already been fussing over, before searching out something else to use for her other arm. Stopping, he would pull a knife from the inner pocket of his jacket and flip the blade out, using the serrated edge to cut the tip of his hoodie’s drawstring off so that he could pull it out. Again he would make a tourniquet, this time on the other arm, using a towel to wrap around that arm.

Leaning forward, Brendan would do his best to put direct pressure on both of her limbs, his face only inches away from hers. “You can’t die on me Evelyn, it’s not your time. Do you hear me? It’s not time yet,” and not like this. His breath was ragged and heavy with frustration, the words he exhaled harshly layered in resentment, though it could be mistaken as concern. “I’m not going to let you do this to me, god dammit.”

It was funny that the moments she was starting to recall weren’t those she expected; life flashing before your eyes and whatnot. No, for Eve it was more attempted suicides replaying themselves. Last time hadn’t worked out so well, Evelyn had downed almost an entire bottle of Tylenol, unfortunately one of the neighbors decided it was time to pay a visit to the little redheaded girl that had borrowed a book months ago. The time before that had failed due to faulty rope, didn’t do much other than leave a big sore bruise on her neck for a couple of weeks. It seemed something was always standing in the way of her and her peace. Evelyn sighed to herself lightly, looking down at the tub while her mind started to wander, everything was getting blurry. This time would be the time, the right time.

At least, she thought it would be.

It wasn’t long before that fuzzy feeling faded and there was nothing. Just like falling asleep, but this time she wouldn’t wake up. It was what she wanted, just to be done. No more suffering, no more aches. No more people hurting her feelings (which was just all to easy to do) and no more nightmares. Eve would have smiled, had she been conscious.

The contrast of the hot water and the cold tile floor jolted her awake. Evelyn gasped sharply, looking up at Brenden; why, why was he here. He wasn’t supposed to be here, but he was. She wanted to swat him away, tell him to stop but she was just too weak, she couldn’t even fight against his movements to stop the bleeding. All she could really do was lay there, shivering, letting him wrap her arms up. “Stop.” she finally whispered, her teeth chattering and lips near white from blood loss. Her skin would have been aching from the burning hot water she’d just been submerged in - had she been able to actually feel anything.

Tears were welling in her blue eyes, so much so it was hard to see the boy who was fussing over her wounds. A mixture of sorrow and self pity was all she felt, she hadn’t wanted anyone to find her, especially not him. Not Brenden, not like this. She was supposed to die, and he was supposed to remember her as happy (at least, pretending to be) and upbeat. He wasn’t supposed to see all the scars across her arms or the new bloody deep gashes. “Please.” she whimpered, he had to have heard that, he was hovering directly above her face.

However dizzy she felt, Evelyn couldn’t just lay on the blood soaked floor anymore. Carefully she sat up, leaning her head against the sink. She didn’t move her arms much save for folding them in her lap, towels still wrapped around them both. “I’m sorry.” not for trying to kill herself, but for him happening across her. There was blood everywhere; the floors, the tub, hell he was covered in it. Tightly she gripped the edge of the sink and tried to pull herself up but ended up slipping back to the ground, her feet sliding against the wet floor. Defeated she curled up, leaning her body back against the wall, just staring at Brenden, having no idea what to say or do.

Evelyn held out her arms, they’d stopped bleeding for the most part, but ached something awful. “You must think I’m a freak.” she sighed, looking at the deep dark path along her arm that contrasted the thick white scars. Still shivering she looked back up to the boy who’d become her newest savior. “Am I supposed to say thank you?” she was clearly displeased that her newest friend had taken on the role of white knight. Little did she know his actions were purely selfish.

We Suck Young Blood (Your Time Is Up) -Radiohead Are you...

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 04:46:00 -0400

We Suck Young Blood (Your Time Is Up) -Radiohead

Are you sweet?
Are you fresh?
Are you strung up by the wrists?
We want the young blood

Superman’s Dead - Our Lady Peace Do you worry that you’re not...

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 04:45:35 -0400

Superman’s Dead - Our Lady Peace

Do you worry that you’re not liked?
How long till you break?
You’re happy cause you smile,
But how much can you fake?

Foster the People - Pumped Up Kicks ( Acoustic )

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 04:44:54 -0400

Foster the People - Pumped Up Kicks ( Acoustic )

Incubus - Pardon Me (acoustic)

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 04:44:27 -0400

Incubus - Pardon Me (acoustic)

Risk - Deftones

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 04:43:47 -0400

Risk - Deftones

Billy Talent - Nothing to lose Need more friends with wingsAll...

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 04:41:54 -0400

Billy Talent - Nothing to lose

Need more friends with wings
All the angels I know
Put concrete in my veins

Audio

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 04:40:40 -0400

Living Dead GIrl (Subliminal Seduction) - Rob Zombie

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 04:39:51 -0400

Living Dead GIrl (Subliminal Seduction) - Rob Zombie

Mad World || Breve

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 04:23:00 -0400

It wasn’t often anyone would hear noise coming from Eve’s apartment, but today would be different. The heavy black door slamming behind her so hard the 7 in 17 went flying off the door. The walls rattled - had there been paintings on them they’d of surely fallen off their nails. The backpack she held went sailing, crashing into a vase, knocking it off the counter. Eve would normally stop at Edgars aquarium, instantly pull him out of the thing and have curl up over her arms, around her neck - but today, Edgar would stay under his rock.

It hadn’t been a particularly long day, it hadn’t been a bad day, but today, just as every other day, Eve didn’t want to live, Eve didn’t have much (if anything, other than her snake) to live for. The memories of her past haunting her every second of every day, the scar that sat on her shoulder, the one on her side; all the other marks across her skin. They were constant reminders of the aches and pains that would never leave her be. The fact that everyone she ever knew, ever cared about, ever even came close to loving was dead - and she honestly believed that should she ever try to love again, they’d die too.

Evelyn dropped down on the edge of the tub, looking down at the water as it filled rapidly, the warmest water she could. Surely near boiling; it would draw the blood out faster. And the sooner she lost consciousness the better. There had been a few times she’d attempted to kill herself, but it had never worked out so well. Something always went wrong,hadn’t cut deep enough, didn’t down enough pills, rope wasn’t strong enough. This time she’d make fucking sure. The tub full to the brim with heated water, a fresh, sharp razor beside her.

Picking up the little metal blade she studied it, then her arm, tracing a line from her wrist to her elbow, figuring the perfect place to cut. She’d leave no letter, she knew no one that would be interested. The only thing that clouded her mind at all was the thoughts of what would happen to Edgar - hopefully someone would take him. Clenching her jaw she turned and sunk into the water that instantly made her body ache; it was so hot she could barely stand it. But she didn’t care. Not now. What did it matter if her skin ached when she got out of the bath - she wouldn’t be getting out.

Sitting in the water with her dress still on, Eve pressed the corner of the razor to the dead center of her wrist, dragging it rapidly and roughly up toward the middle of her arm, stopping just below the crease of her elbow. Instantly she felt light headed as the water started to turn pink. As quickly as her bleeding arm could she’d move it to the other, tracing the same path; but only making it half way.